Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
should my penis look like a turkey
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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