i just google imaged poop.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
