my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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