Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
