Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
