Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
