i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
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