I want to make a zoo with you.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
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