i already hear my dad disowning me
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
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