so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Randomize
