I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
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