I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
