Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
