I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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