"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Randomize
