Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
