So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Lo siento on account of my penis...
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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