I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize