Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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