Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
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