You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
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I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
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But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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