You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
