the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
