all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
