Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
