I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Randomize
