We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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