he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Randomize
