what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
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