Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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