Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
