i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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