Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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