I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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