hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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