I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
This toilet bowl is my home.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize