she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
