And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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