im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize