She's JV to your varsity
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
