I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
