He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize