We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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