Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Just invented taco cereal.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
