Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
