so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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