If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
