That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Randomize
