I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
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I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
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I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
i think im in europe. pls send help
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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