I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
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Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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