i just google imaged poop.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Randomize
