Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
