Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
