ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Every concussion has its silver lining
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
