Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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