Porn is love you can see.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize