Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
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Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
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He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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