you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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